The power of using a 'Tech Box'

Dear Parents,

You may be starting to realise that there doesn’t seem to be any signs of tech taking a hike.

Instead, figures show that families are spending more time on screens now than ever before:

“41% of parents of 12-15s find it hard to control their child’s screen time,” according to the latest Ofcom Children and Parents: Media use and attitudes report (2017).

“53% of children go online for more than 8 hours a week with the average amount of hours a 12-15-year-old extending to 15 h.'“ (NSPCC 2019)

At Play Healing we are here to find playful solutions to manage the use of tech in the home. When we manage the use of tech it reduces the risk of children becoming addicted to certain devices and disconnecting from those closest to them. When rhythms are embedded then conflict between parents and children reduces, fostering healthier relationships.

The tech box was birthed as part of our family framework very simply to address our desire for there to be no phones at the dinner table. As our children are getting older, eating together is one of the chances we still have to connect and catch up on life.

Our original ‘tech box’ was an old cardboard laptop box - just the right size to be slung in the corner of the kitchen and able to hold tablets and mobiles, kindles etc. The ‘tech box seemed to have a nice ring to it and so it began.

We’ve now installed a ‘tech table’ where devices are charged and the kids just know not to go on their phones around dinner time so will place them in the kitchen or out of sight. This also includes not having the TV on as it tends to be another conversation killer, however I still get tempted to slump in front of the TV, especially when everyone’s feeling tired and grouchy.

There are families that have a lockable tech box as the children really struggle to control their urge to go on their devices. This can work, but I’d encourage parents to always initiate a clear, calm conversation about why you care so much and are doing this for their wellbeing. Keeping a two way conversation going is so important when building trust and connection. Certain rhythms and routines may only be for a season and then re-evaluated but initially consistency is key.

It’s also so much more powerful when you get ‘buy-in’ and include them in any changes.

I love finding unique ways of encouraging the use of a tech box creatively with families when I coach them but generally using art and decorating the box works well. Discussing the family framework and how the digital framework including the tech box fits into it so the whole family has a clear understanding of why we’re doing this in the first place is also so important.

I still find my children want to stretch boundries we put in place, but instead of shouting and getting cross I’d rather keep connection and try and deal with it calmly even if inside I’m feeling disappointed or frustrated. That’s something on my property for me to deal with as the adult in the relationship.

Another really important time of day to think about managing tech is in the evening. This tends to be the time when all the deep questions materialise about their day and they have a chance to unwind and calm things down before bed. I mentioned in another blog ‘Getting Kids off Devices,’ about the effects of screens suppressing the production of melatonin, so it’s highly advisable to decide on a cut-off time for tech use to leave time for your child’s brain to prepare itself for sleep. 

The more consistently you manage tech use in the home the quicker the children will grow to accept it and be warned - they may be reminding you about the new ways of living too! 

Here’s a video link to a couple of tech boxes I introduced during a summer camp that the children decorated together.

I look forward to hearing how you get on x Debi