Improving self-esteem through connection in a digital world.
Families playing board games and computer games.
As a mum of 2 teenage girls, I have a particular interest in improving the mental health outcomes of young people, especially when it comes to self-esteem and confidence.
It’s hard to watch our tweens and teens, whatever their gender and cultural background, be bombarded with thousands of filtered images and video clips to compare themselves to when they are already naturally becoming more self-aware at this developmental stage.
Thankfully, there are some positive role models that they can follow and be inspired by. However, as the fascination and lure of scrolling through TikTok and YouTube captivates the attention of our young people for HOURS, a sense of disconnect between ourselves and our children can increase.
I would also argue (backed up by some compelling primary and secondary research) that consuming this kind of content can lead to more comparison and self-consciousness which fuels a whole plethora of undesirable outcomes for our young people and the wider community.
How about substituting this time online with esports, coding or gaming, resulting in higher levels of social interaction, creativity and collaboration? This exchange has the potential to lead to happier kids with higher levels of self-esteem who feel CONNECTED to a thriving community.
As a parent who often feels ill equipped to guide my children through this digital landscape, I feel as though I have ‘missed the window’ at times in presenting them with more constructive alternatives to scrolling on their phones.
I would therefore encourage parents of tweens to PAUSE and explore the world of gaming and esports and start having PLAY-filled conversations around these digital activities wherever possible.
But not only start talking about it, start PLAYING these games yourself!
Let them see you struggle and perhaps maybe even offer to help you in the process (or laugh at you in my case). Send them a YouTube video of the latest esports tournament or drop in a couple of stats about this $1.2billion dollar industry.
How incredible would it be to facilitate a form of PLAY with endless opportunities to maintain CONNECTION with your child as they journey through these turbulent teenage years?
Andy Robertson, a video game journalist and author of ‘Taming Gaming,’ explained how he has cultivated a gaming ritual with his children who are now in their late teens/ early 20’s. They will still sit down and play a chosen game together each week which gives him that precious opportunity to CONNECT and ask them how they are doing etc.
Research shows that the average gamer globally is around 34 years of age with 23% of the gaming community being over 50 years old.
At 40, I’m only just realising how gaming seems to have an inter-generational quality, as does a more traditional form of play e.g. cards/chess.
With 73% of US households owning a gaming console I wonder whether that’s more than the number of households that own Monopoly?
My intention is not to dissuade you from playing with your tween/teen in your unique way. No one else can combine those formative childhood experiences and creative ideas for play like you. Whether that’s going fishing, dancing, cooking, or playing a game of football. You get to CONNECT with your teen through PLAY, your way. Especially if you’ve managed to cultivate it into a shared hobby or ritual.
However, for those of us who played in ways that our tween/teen no longer connects with or enjoys, then perhaps gaming may be worth a try?
Check out (https://www.taminggaming.com/) to access the most incredible games database to get things started.
Written by Debi John, Play and Parent Consultant. Speaking and presenting the workshop entitled ‘Too busy not to play’ in corporates all over the world.